The Next God of Destruction
by Houkaru Kisaragi
Summary: When Vados stumbled across Earth, she saw limitless potential inside an average Joe called Saitama. She knew right there and then her search for the next God of Destruction was over.


"You know death will soon be upon you if you don't run away."

Saitama steadied his laboured breaths and glowered at the blue alien floating beside him. "I… I don't know what you are, but if you want a fight, you just have to wait until I beat that giant octopus."

Vados clicked her tongue in disapproval and shifted her attention to the thirty foot tall colossal octopus ravaging Z-City. She crossed her arms, glanced back at the black-haired man, and arched a brow. "Why do you want to risk your life fighting something that you can't possibly beat? At this rate, you will die."

Wiping the blood off the edge of his bruised lips, Saitama grinned. "If I don't stay and fight, millions of people will die."

Tilting her head in bemusement, Vados blinked. "Millions of people are already dead. And you think you can make a difference?"

"I'm a hero, but I bet you won't understand that, huh?"

"Hero…?" Vados articulated the word with confusion and frustration laced in her tone. "I do not understand you. You are so eager to throw your life away so you could prove a point? A point that nobody would bother to acknowledge? I don't see rationality in what you did. I only see a fool's end. You will not live to see the next sunrise if you charge blindly forward."

Saitama growled. "Then what do you want me to do? Turn my back on those thousands who died in that monster's rampage? If I die, then so be it, but let it be known that I won't go down without a fight!"

A satisfied and jubilant smile curled at Vados's pink lips as she gave the black-haired man a nod of approval; she has found _him_. It was her duty to nurture and empower the next God of Destruction, but none had met her stringent requirements yet. Much to her astonishment and relief, her search was finally over. "You have my respect. Go. Defeat that monster with your prowess. If you survive, I will make you my disciple."

"Disciple?"

Vados nodded. "Yes. I will make you the next God of Destruction."

At that moment, Saitama didn't know what she means by the term 'God of Destruction', but her enchanting voice had vested unfathomable encouragement and hope in him. He gave her a thumbs-up, stared at the monstrosity before him with pent-up rage, and hammered his chest with his fist. "I'll hold you to that, Blue!"

Vados hid her giggle behind her sleeve and grinned. "Absolutely."

 **-The Next God of Destruction-**

Saitama thought the blue alien was joking when she wanted him to train under her tutelage, but she was more serious than the upcoming mega-sales that was happening next Saturday. She had crashed with him in his meagre one-room apartment, consumed all of his ramen that he had carefully hidden behind his television set, and had made his entire house sparkling clean out of boredom.

"Oi, are you not leaving?"

Vados flipped through the fashion magazine and hid her blush behind her sleeved hand. "Oh my, is this how the women in your planet wear? How lewd and… exciting. I wonder how I would look like if I get myself one of these miniskirts."

"Hey, are you listenin -"

"Oh!" Vados gasped. "Why would the women in this planet subject themselves in this derogatory predicament? They are advertising their bodies by wearing such skimpy-outfit. So dauntless and… intriguing. I wonder how I would look like if I wear one of these. Do you think I would look pretty if I wear one of these?"

Saitama felt his eyelid twitched vigorously. "Oi…"

"These Jimmy Choo shoes look so cute and uncomfortable!" Vados grinned and jabbed with a finger at one of the golden pair of shimmering shoes from the magazine. "I want it!"

"WILL YOU STOP READING THAT JUNK AND LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY?"

Vados flipped her magazine shut, placed it gently on the coffee table like it was a treasure, and gave the black-haired man a confused look. "What were you saying? I apologize, Saitama-sama, but I was just so engrossed with the absurd fashion sense this planet seems to harbour. My arduous investigation has concluded that the female populous in this planet indulges in extreme -"

"I don't care about that!" Saitama let out a tired sigh. "Why are you here? Where are you from? What do you want to do with me? You haven't been answering those questions to me yet."

Vados scratched her temples and mused. "I didn't?"

"No, you didn't." Saitama deadpanned.

The alien pursed her lips and tapped her chin. "Oh…"

"Well? What are you waiting for?"

Tilting her head in confusion, Vados quirked a brow. "What am I supposed to be waiting for?"

"No! It's a phrase. I am subtly implying to you to answer my question."

"So, is it a phrase or is it an implication?"

Saitama took in a deep breath, calming his nerves. "Just answer my questions, will ya?"

Vados blinked quizzically. "What were the questions again?"

The black-haired man almost resorted to pull all of his hair out and throw himself into the nearby wall, but rejected that notion vehemently. He glared heatedly at the oblivious alien who was toying with her silver hair and barked. "What is your purpose here? Where do you come from? You have some plans for me, right? What is it?"

"I am an attendant. My job is to educate and care for the next God of Destruction of this universe. As for where I am from, I am not obligated to tell you that yet. For now, I am from a galaxy far, far away." Vados poured herself a cup of warm tea, inhaled the aroma of her beverage with a smile of content, and took a cautious sip. She let out a blissful sigh and smiled at her self-proclaimed master. "I believe I have also made myself clear. I am here to train you, as promised."

"Train me?"

Vados smiled. "Yes. See, every universe is destined to have a God of Destruction. Every God of Destruction must fulfil a set of prerequisites before they are entitled with such prestigious notoriety. It is the God of Destruction's duty and responsibility to protect the universe. I have been searching for the chosen one for so long, but I believe I have finally found him. Saitama-sama, I believe – No, I know you are the next God of Destruction."

Saitama crossed his arms and shot the alien a sceptical look. "God of Destruction? Guardian of the universe? That sounds too far-fetch if you ask me. I'm just a guy whose hobby is being a hero. But if you were to be the one to train the next God of Destruction, and assuming this God of Destruction is mighty strong, then that means you have to be pretty strong too, right?"

"Naturally." Vados snapped her fingers. That was the only sound Saitama heard before he found himself standing on the moon. In a midst of panic and fear, Saitama cupped his nose to control his breathing and eyed his vicinity in frantic fright. Vados materialized right beside him and flicked her wrist, generating a spherical barrier that encompassed them. "Rest easy, Saitama-sama. Within this dome, you will be able to talk and breathe like you would on Earth."

Saitama swallowed hard, removed his hand from his nose, and took in the pleasant fragrance in delight. "I can… Where… How?"

"We are standing on the moon of your planet, Saitama-sama. As you can see, I am capable of _everything_. It is the reason why I am entrusted to be the caretaker and instructor of the next God of Destruction." Vados eyed the vibrant planet appraisingly before her and smiled. "From today onwards, I will train you. I will make you strong."

Saitama narrowed his eyes. "And what do I have to give in exchange for that power?"

Vados turned to Saitama, caressed his cheek, and leaned in to capture his lips. She gently pushed him away and a shrewd grin tugged at her lips, but Saitama wasn't captivated by her exotic beauty or allured by the mesmerizing gravitas she exuded, he saw a monster of unparalleled proportion who could easily end all civilization on a whim and that frightened him to his core. "Everything."

Saitama sighed, wiped his lips, and defused the situation with a deadpan on his face. "You are a sloppy kisser. Is it your first time?"

Flustered and embarrassed, Vados chuckled sheepishly and waved a dismissive hand at the dubious man. "O-Of course not! A-And will you show some passion into it? I have been thinking of this moment for Lord knows how long and you're ruining it! This is supposed to be my most memorable and dramatic way of making you my faithful disciple!"

"…can we just go home?"

"…kay."

 **-The Next God of Destruction-**

Vados's training was borderline insane. She had him lifted a rock that weighed a ton, demanded him to run around a mountain with that damn thing strapped to his back, and threatened to reduce everything into dust if he stopped. At first, Saitama thought she was joking about the last part, but when he witnessed how she effortlessly obliterated the mountain beside them and left a gargantuan sinkhole in the terrain with a snap of her fingers, he ran like there was no tomorrow.

The difficulty of his inhumane training escalated to the point where he had to swim across the Pacific Ocean with a giant boulder behind his back, slaughter a horde of giant mutated cockroaches infesting Mars, kill an evil wizard who had no nose, and behead a 350 feet tall bipedal lizard-like monstrosity that was born from a nuclear fallout.

Within half a year, he felt the difference.

He was able to end every fight with a mere punch.

He also noticed something odd about him.

He felt no excitement in battle, no fear against intimidating foes, and no joy in his victory.

What's worse?

He became bald.

Saitama laid on his mattress, dug his nose, and skimmed through the channels. "It's fairly peaceful nowadays, huh?"

Vados, who was eating a cup of mango pudding while reading the latest Vogue issue, nodded. "Yes, it has, Saitama-sama. Do you wish to do something different for a change?"

"Something different?" Saitama arched a brow.

"Yes. It has come to my attention that I have nothing left to teach you. You have grown so much in such a short amount of time. I dare say you have exceeded my expectation. I'm so proud of you, Saitama-sama." Vados grasped her chest dramatically and closed her eyes. "I believe it won't be long before you ascend into something greater. Soon, you will receive the mantle of the God of Destruction."

Saitama resisted his urge to tackle his instructor for sprouting blasphemy and choked the living hell out of her. He maintained his cool and schooled his features. _"You didn't teach me jack. You only threw me into some fuck-up shit and told me to survive. That's not training. That's torture, you murderous sadist."_

Vados shook her head and grinned, her eyes fixated at her magazine in hand. "Have you heard? There is an organization called the Hero Association that was recently established to gather strong fighters to help defend this planet from extra-terrestrial invaders. I heard they are plenty of strong humans in there. Why don't you sign up and be an official hero. That way, you get to fight monsters and meet strong fighters. It's a win-win, actually."

"W-Wait!" Saitama stared at his instructor with trepidation; beads of sweat were forming profusely on his forehead as he gaped at the nonchalant Vados. "What do you mean by that? You mean I'm not an official hero? But that can't be! I have been destroying countless monsters for the past one year! How could nobody acknowledge that?"

Vados shrugged. "You did defeat those abominations, but nobody knew who did it. Naturally, they would have concluded that someone did it, but they won't know their saviour was you, because you were never listed in their registry. Well, it doesn't matter, right? I mean… you were just defeating monsters as a hobby, no?"

The bald hero stroked his chin and blinked. "You made a point. Oh well, I guess I should definitely go sign myself up, huh?"

"Yes, Saitama-sama."

"You joining?"

Vados shook her head and smiled. "I'm your maid slash nanny slash instructor. I do not see a reason why I should be a hero. This planet's survival does not concern me. What matters to me is you, Saitama-sama. If you wish to be inducted by the organization as their hero, I would give you my fullest support. I believe your strife will lead you to great heights."

-The Next God of Destruction-

Vados clenched her jaw and glared vicious dagger at Saitama. She didn't know what her master had done, but he had somehow convinced her to sign some papers, and now she had to take a test to be a hero. He knew she was a perfectionist, so failure in life was never an option and that means she would ace the exam, which further means she would inevitably become a hero.

Vados balled her trembling fists and growled. "Well played, Saitama-sama. Well played."

Saitama turned to his attendant, flashed a peace-sign, and smiled triumphantly, much to her ire.

"Alright, this is the physical examination of your test!" An examiner approached Saitama and gave Vados a dirty look. "You two are up. Lady, this is the time for you to quit. The test is tough and what lies ahead is even worse. I personally don't think you are suitable to be a hero."

Saitama snickered and pointed a finger at Vados. "Hey, Vados, he thinks you're weak. I can't blame him though. You _look_ weak."

Vados took on a disguise to conceal her identity from the public. She morphed her skin tone to a lustrous tan complexion, removed her halo ring, and wore a bright yellow sundress to 'blend' in, but her choice of attire made her stick out in the examination hall like a sunflower in a weed field. Vados cranked her neck, glowered at a giggling Saitama, and approached her first test. "Weights, huh?"

The examiner rolled his eyes. "Just choose the 2kg dumbbell and get on with it. It's not like you can lift the heav – W-WHAT THE HELL?"

Vados snapped her fingers and insurmountable power leaked from her lithe frame. In an instance, the stadium that facilitated the examination was lifted into the air, much to everybody's petrification. She shot the gaping examiner a dry look, dropped the infrastructure back to earth, dusted her hands, and blinked coolly. "What's next?"

The other contestants were bewildered and horrified at the sheer display of pure power. Subsequently, Vados had broken the examination record with flying colours; she completed the 1500 metre race within half a second, jumped through the 20 foot tall ceiling and into space, and did squats faster than the machines could record.

Vados tied her silver hair up, raised her head up high, and strode past Saitama with an air of haughty victory.

The trembling and sweating examiner looked at Saitama and squeaked. "Y-You're next?"

 **-The Next God of Destruction-**

"Yosh! We are officially heroes, Vados!"

"Unfortunately." Vados's shoulders slumped, rummaged a magazine from her dress pocket, and blew out a sigh of relief. "Luckily I have this latest Elle issue to keep me company."

Saitama dug his ear and grinned. "How did you do for the written exam?"

"Meh. It was fairly bland."

"Yeah, it was." The bald hero nodded.

He still remember the first question was: If a cat and a human being are about to get hit by a car, what would you do?

That's easy! Saitama's answer was: Punch the car.

The second question went on: If a monster was tearing the city apart, what would you do?

Saitama scoffed and answered: Punch the monster.

The third question was a no-brainer for him: If a mugger is holding a woman hostage with a knife, what would you do?"

Saitama deadpanned and answered: Punch the mugger.

When they got their result, Vados rolled her eyes. She was given the highest rank of order – S-Class, obviously. Saitama, however, was a shabby C-Class. Apparently, he had failed his written test horribly, which wasn't much of a surprise to his attendant. Vados snickered at her apprentice's plight and hollered. "Oh well, I think we should go back and get ourselves some udon. What do you say, Saitama-sama?"

Saitama deflated; he was sulking because Vados could use this moment to mock him for the rest of his life, and knowing her, she probably would. "C-Class only? This must be a joke, right? I mean… I did ace the physical exam and -"

Vados hid her grin behind her sleeve. "Fufufu! You're upset, Saitama-sama. Do you want me to obliterate this organization for you?"

"No! Don't! Please! You'll embarrass me!"

* * *

This idea has been plaguing me for so long. I'm just going to throw it out there and see how it goes. This is a pet project though.

Drop a review and let me know how you feel.


End file.
